I've been a swinger for last 6 years now and I love it, and most of the time I've been swinging as a single girl. Mostly it has been great however there have been lessons I learned along the way. For balance I think I should share some of my swinging experience, that I've learnt from so any single girls that may want to try swinging have all the facts. Like everything you take up whether it's swinging, sex work whatever, or even in life there is always good and bad.
There's always things they don't tell or you can't learn without unfortunately making the mistake first. So if I point out what I have learnt from my bad experiences, then hopefully you won't need to make that mistake.
Swinging as a couple is different, yes you have issues jealousy, trust, etc and rules that you both agree upon, to work through but you always have someone looking out for you. But as a single girl it's a completely different environment, you are either going alone or taking someone with you & his intentions can range on the scale from using you just to get in all the way to the supportive awesome partner I described in my last blog. Being used in any capacity doesn't feel great & I would rather go alone then privilege some user, into this exclusive world as they can't get in without you.
My initial swinging experience was in August and when I got back to Melbourne, I was keen to find a way of replicating what I had experienced up in Sydney, so did my research and I joined to adult sites, Adult match maker & Red Hot pie, and I was overwhelmed by the amount of messages. If you're a couples trying to find a girl to join, you will know single girls who reply, actually meet up & play are as rare as hens teeth, so you're in high demand. It was daunting just getting through the 125 messages on Adult match maker in one day. So I went to some parties tried them out and they weren't as good as the clubs in Sydney unfortunately.
One was in a private swinger party in a private residence in the western suburbs, with the backyard and garage area used for the mingling and then the playing occurred inside the bedrooms on mats. This night I meet up with a guy I had been chatting with, never met and we went in, we mingled. When it came to the playing, he had played with a couple of the other ladies, proceeded to get dressed and told me he had to leave. So he left me there, luckily I drove and could get home. So I stayed, I was playing with a couple of guys, and then a pushy one came to play. I said No, and he persisted, even grabbing at me. I got up and found host and got him evicted out of the party, however he didn't leave quietly and then I was worried he would be waiting for me when I wanted to leave.
Few months later, Melbourne Cup eve I wanted to go to particular swingers party Minx, but by the time the day arrived the party was sold out, and there wasn't much else on, other than at a swingers club in the outer suburb of Seaford, just before Frankston, an hour drive from the city. The guy who wanted to come with me, was super keen but I knew this was mixed sexuality party, so everyone was welcome, gay guys, transsexuals, Bi guys, Bi girls. I have no problem with it as I'm very open-minded and have tried all of the above, but most guys can't handle it. He was persistent, and I gave in and he even offered to drive me. We get to the club, and there aren't many single girls or couples at the party, but plenty of guys, gay, bi & straight. So he starts getting aggravated. There's one couple he spots, and says for me to go and entice them. Do you see the pattern of behaviour? which I said no, if you want to come with me and get to know them then great but I can't do that. Then he was dictating to me who and who I can't play with, I ignored him. We ended up playing with the couple plus couple extra guys in a large play room. Once it was over he was abusive again. I walked off and ran into the lovely Indian Guy who he wouldn't let me play or talk with, we had fun on the sex swing in one of the rooms. When I had made my way back to him, and he saw that the indian guy was giving me his number, he cracked it. Let me just point out, his not a boyfriend, fuck buddy or anything really, we had only been chatting online that's it a few times. He wants to go home, so I go with him and proceeds to abuse me the whole time, until I answered back. He then drives into a petrol station and says 'This should be safe enough for you, now get out!' It's 3am, I'm an hour away from home, my mobile phone had died, and I had no cash on me. It cost me $150 on my credit card to get back to my car (thank god for a lovely taxi driver who accepted my card instead of cash upfront). Lesson learnt, from that moment on, I never took another one of these losers to a club again, I drove to everything and NEVER let anyone treat me like I was his property or like that again.
Even in Sydney in May 2014 on thursday night, it was extra guy night at the swingers club Couples Club. The girls in charge on the night had let in a couple of body builder type, they aren't my thing but I'm in one of the rooms and they wanted to play, I said yes. One of them was being very rough, so mid fuck and his cock hard, I told him to leave, he tried to argue, but left and then his friend was just as bad trying to ram his cock down my throat. I stopped playing with him and told him he was being too rough. I start riding another guy, and look up to find him jerking off wanting to come on me. I told him to fuck off and left the play area. I then found some lovely men to play with all night and proceeded to make all the other guys just watch, with my constant response of No every time someone wanted to join. It ruined the night in a way but I did find some nice guys to play with, great sex with a few of their girl companions going down on me as a bonus, so it turned out well in the end. If you follow me on twitter, you may remember my Sydney Porsche guy, well he was one of the nice ones I met that night.
Ideally what you want from a play partner if you can find it, is a guy like in my Swinging in Sin City blog who I described as the perfect partner. Reason being he looked out for me, asked if I wanted let people join in, was happy to be around & play with me or others, above all of the other things he had respect for me & treated me right. Don't forget girls at a swingers party/club that you have power, if you don't want someone to touch you, then say respectfully 'No thanks' your not obligated to do anything at these parties, and only do what you are comfortable with. Ultimately I find if they guys have issues or lack of respect for women, and thrown into this environment all the bad qualities can come to the surface, and being at a swingers party doesn't guarantee sex. However the rules of all these events are very clear 'No means No' so don't let anyone pressure you. This environment is meant to be enjoyable and no peer pressure, so make sure you take your power back, and if they persist then tell the organisers, usually they will be asked to leave.
I hope that helps and if you have any questions, please feel free to contact me. If you would like to join me, and have your own swingers experience, then check the details on my Swingers Page and let's talk.
Kellie Blair - Melbourne Escort